Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Feeling crappy.

This morning I'm sitting here feeling crappy.

Its Wednesday today and that means that for the past three days the soundtrack to my life has been the sound of poor little Pepper crying. It breaks my heart and at times has had me in tears too, but seriously, the noise.

I'm feeling crappy for the big girls who are desperate to get out of here and into the big wide world to go and do some stuff but instead are stuck at home again. I feel guilty that most of the time I can't play with them because their little sister is so needy.

I feel bad because Miss Pepper just wants to sit and snuggle with me but I am not great at sitting still for extended periods of time. If she'd let me knit then maybe...

I feel bad because I am so tired after all these nights of not sleeping that I am only doing the barest minimum around here and no one has clean undies and we are living on shortcut food.

I feel bad because Bren has so much work to do on the farm but I need him here with me to make marble runs with the girls and take turns with Pepper.

I feel bad because when I went in to Pepper in the night she started crying harder because she only wanted her Dad.

I feel guilty because I know that this will be over in a few days and I know how lucky I am and that I have no right to whinge.

I feel bad that it made me feel so happy to sew this dress yesterday when Bren took Pepper on a drive to the irrigation supplies shop. I loved working with these gorgeous vintage fabrics and sewing them into a dress for my soon to be shop.

I guess one funny thing to come out of all this was the look on my face, and my snort, and then the look on Indi's face, when the doctor told me Pepper has a severe case of coxsackie virus. Say it aloud and you'll see what I mean.

I am so lucky to have my farmer boy who makes me love heart lattes each morning and I am grateful that the sun has come out. Maybe we'll rug up and go for a walk.

Huge thanks to Jodie for this wonderful package of washer swap goodies that was waiting in my post office box to brighten my day yesterday. I love it all, its so sunny and springtimey. Thanks also to Jodie for organising another wonderful washer swap, its been great.

So what's going on with you this fine Wednesday morning?
I hope there's a bit of sunshine in your life today.

42 comments:

  1. I hope Pepper feels better soon. I hope the girls have some fun on their remaining holidays and I hope you are ok too.

    The dress is beautiful, I can't wait to see your soon to be shop.

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  2. Oh Kate, I'm so sorry things are tough for you right now, it's no wonder you feel crappy, there is not much worse than a sick child, no sleep & feeling quite helpless waiting to ride it out, but you're right it will be all over in a few days & the sun is shinning now..hang in there, I'm glad you had time to whip up another adorable dress, I absolutely love these! I was sitting here laughing out loud as I red poor pepper's diagnosis, the boys all ran over to se what was so funny..take care & try to enjoy this sunshine x

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  3. Oh Kate.
    I'm so sorry. Parenting is tough at times. It's lucky there are so many joys to balance the tears or we wouldn't keep going back for more. I have a little mantra I repeat to myself at times like this.. this too will pass, nothing is forever and taking it one minute at a time works wonders for me. That and a shower with Tom Jones playing at a high volume while I grab 5 minutes of sanity and a little calm so I can go back and deal again.

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  4. Gorgeous dress!

    Sorry to hear about the Hand, Foot & Mouth - we had a very mild case of it here earlier in the year but nothing major (thank goodness). Rest assured, I'm with you on wingey, clingy kids - I can't sit still, especially when the crying doesn't stop when I am sitting there! And hard if you're not allowed to sit and knit (I get itchy fingers!!).

    Hope Pepper is feeling better soon.

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  5. Poor Miss Pepper, I have never even heard of that virus before. Poor you too, I know how draining it is to have a child who cries non stop and doesnt want anyone to do anything but hold her! Your dress looks gorgeous and the swap parcel is beautiful too, lucky you. I love the color of the yarn Jodie sent to you.

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  6. ohhh sweet Kate, sounds like an awful few days.
    hope little Pepper feels better soon & you get your life & sanity back.
    thank goodness for Bren, thank goodness for understanding sisters and thank goodness for your amazing creativity.
    hugs to you ♥

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  7. That is just the worst with Miss P so upset all the time. I hope she starts on the mend very soon.
    Our two had an awful bug last week, the throwing up seemed to never end. Nights are the worst!
    But they are both better now, trying to get all that energy back!
    Hugs to you, (and i am again adoring your fabric choices!!!)xx

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  8. Oh Kate, so sorry to hear Pepper is sick. There's nothing worse than a sick child for everyone. I've had two friends' kids with the same thing recently and they were equally as miserable. Poor things. Hope it all clears up soon.
    xxx
    ps your dress is just beautiful.

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  9. I feel for you, we seem to be in the same boat as of lastnight. My 6 month old has had temperatures since 1 this morning and just slept in my arms or cried. The girls are going bonkers at home, they just want to go somewhere. Why do they always get sick on holidays? hang in there, love the dress :-)

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  10. Oh, it sounds just awful (with a little bit of ok thrown in). I wish Pepper well, her sisters some run ragged time, Bren a bit of boy time, and you? For you I wish rest, relaxation, sunshine, you time, a good song on the radio that makes you dance just a bit, one great big belly laugh and some crafty bits.

    The dress is drop dead lovely!

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  11. Oh kate, what dreadful couple of days you've had.
    Hope both you and Pepper are feeling much better soon!! You know I think you always have a right to whinge.
    But it's horrible to have that feeling bad and guilty feeling im struggling with that myself a bit today too.
    thank godness for Bren. xo

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  12. Poor Miss Pepper, Poor Mama Kate!

    "This too shall pass" My Dear... easy for me to say when all is well over here, I know, but it's what I try to remind myself when I feel like you're feeling today.

    It's crap enough to be tired, wrung out dealing with a sick kiddo, without laying a guilt trip on yourself to boot lovely... so... well... quit it. ;)

    Gorgy dress... I am aching to see this shop up & running!

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  13. Aww, Kate! Hope your day improved and that Pepper is on the mend. I can see why that dress cheered you up---just WOW! Hang in there---W

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  14. arg. we just got back from the hospital with our young one. Three days and nights of horror so I know how you feel. Seems so simple to just want your children to be well. go well, all these things pass, even though in the exact moment they are happening I want to make it all go away now, I know the journey will end soon enough and my boy will drive off in a car or some crazy thing.
    x

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  15. Oh dear, those big girls need a special treat - your undivided time & attention!! Can you be cruel to be kind (to yourself) & set Pepper up, say 'this is how its going to be, i'll be back in a short while for a cuddle' but high tail it out of there to your big girls who don't want to have a totally sucky school holidays?? When they are unwell they can also manipulate (see me combining my pharmacology & psych degrees, plus mother of 3 girls myself here) so keep an eye on that too.
    Aren't you lucky with that husband of yours, what a keeper, love Posie

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  16. thanks for your honesty kate - that does sound crappy! If only we could split ourselves into 3 people.......
    Who knew that was the official name for Hand, foot and Mouth - hilarious!! Hope the sunshine lasts and it gives everyone the break they need!

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  17. Oh, that sounds awful! It's totally okay to feel like crap about it, it's no fun for anyone. Here's hoping your little one gets better super quick and becomes a bit less clingy in the meantime. That dress is fabuloso - I'm impressed you managed to fit in some sewing time instead of disappearing off to bed for some blessed silence.

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  18. hey I hope your little one is well asap......just so heartbreaking when little ones are sick....love the heart latte....showed my hubby as he needs tips on how to make the designs on the top of coffee....any hints....love the dress and good luck with your shop...Sending your little one get well wishes.....

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  19. Yep, sounds a bit crappy, but at least you know that it will pass. Excited to hear about your shop!! Hope tomorrow is better for everyone at your place. Nic

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  20. Oh no - I hope she is on the mend soon.

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  21. You poor bugger!!
    Hope she's feeling chirpier soon!!

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  22. The virus sounds just like , well just like it sounds - hope its all over soon, love the dress! x

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  23. haha the virus might not be fun, but it sure has a funny name!

    I hope Pepper feels better soon and you all can get some sleep soon.

    Oh and DO NOT feel guilty about anything hun, you do what you do to survive in these situations, especially do not feel guilty about making time for yourself by doing some craftyness.

    big hugs for you all

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  24. Oh that's so horrible, I do hope she feels better soon.

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  25. hope Pepper is now feeling much better. The dress is so pretty, you really are very clever. Good-luck with the shop.

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  26. Lack of sleep makes everything 10 times worse. You're allowed to feel crappy. We all do when our kids are sick. Hang in there. The light at the end of the coxsackie tunnel I"m sure is on its way to you! Never heard of coxsackie in my life - seriously, who comes up with these medical terms - a couple of pissed blokes at a pub having a lend of us I say!

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  27. I got that virus when I was a teenager - needless to say I didn't mention the name to ANYONE!
    Poor Pepper, and all of you... love that dress!

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  28. I hope it gets better tomorrow Kate. Nothing worse than sick kids, being trapped inside and lack of sleep x How sweet is your love heart!

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  29. Oh poor you - life it tough when a little one is sick, I hope she's feeling better soon.
    If you can get out in the sun I'm sure you'll all feel a little perkier, I always feel better after a walk, it clears my head, and theirs - even in the rain. x

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  30. My little one just joined me and saw the dress, she loves it and says it must be a dancing dress because it's so beautiful.

    I think she might be right.

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  31. I hope little one is much better by now!!! With new baby around the house and having space of 6 yrs between my first to this new cutie, I can relate with most of what ya' had on here...includes the man has to work for so many hrs.
    But I keep telling myself it will all be gone soon enough for me to forget about how hard it is all now (well I do hope so =D )

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  32. Got your email. Thank you so much amazing lady! I hope you are all feeling much better soon. Not nice at all. Lots of love to you all but especially to you mum of the house.

    See, every time you make me laugh even if it is a sad post - had never heard the real name for hand, foot, mouth!

    Thank you! Lou.

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  33. being human suxs - can't hold it against you Kate!
    But at least you found something to make you giggle - must have been a girl who invented the name of that virus - probably a sleep deprived female doctor . . . .
    Good food, clean undies, happy squeals will find you again soon - i don't think they have left for good :)
    P.S. smashing dress !

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  34. We all feel crappy after days of no sleep and whinging kids, Good news is that it is almost over and Pepper must have gone past hump day now. We all had Hand, foot and mouth and it was right when they had that Bovine outbreak in the UK....People avoided us like the plague :-)

    Your latte lookys lovely as does your washer.....and you know what Dory says... :-)

    Big hugs xx

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  35. Sorry you're feeling low today Kate, I think feeling guilty is part of the Mum Job Description. There is always something calling for attention, and it is hard to juggle everyones needs in a family, especially when you have a sick bub, but just know you are doing the best you can and in a few days it will all be roses again. I did have a giggle at that virus name - how funny! julie x

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  36. I hope that Pepper gets back to her smiley self soon, poor little possum. It's not an easy job being a Mum and 24 hours on call can really get you down but your rays of sunshine with your pretty dress and you loving hubby shine through. I hope clean undies, lots of sleep, smiling children and crafting are back soon. Take care. xo

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  37. oh I do hope poor little Pepper is well soon and you can all get some sleep. The dress is absolutely divine and I am staggered you were able to make it at such a stressful time I think I would of made crazy mistakes through tiredness and a desperate attempt to do something for myself in such a little time frame. How wonderful to have such a yummy sweet looking latte made for you each day, such a treat xxx

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  38. Hi miss Kate :-)
    Hope it all goes back to happy wellness soon at your place-all these viruses going around are freaking me out a little. i love when a snort escapes unexpectedly :-D and im liking the colour combos on this dress-nicceeee :-) x love manda

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  39. Oh Kate, it looks like you've been having a bit of a rotten time - and yet you can still whip up a lovely little frock!!? You're amazing. I hope things get better very soon and little miss pepper is well and recovered from her illness. x

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  40. Poor Pepper & Poor you poor Bren and big girls too. There's no easy way to be sick and Pepper must feel awful if she cries all the time. I hope she will get better soon. Could you catch up on some sleep by snoozing while you're cuddling her.

    What a whacky name for a virus. I've never heard of it either.

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  41. so not fair. glad you have been able to catch a small glimmer of humour and the odd comforting latte♥
    there is no doubt coxsackie sucks

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Kate XX

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