Sunday, August 14, 2011

Real and true life.

So we came out of the desert and landed in Darwin. The girls had had enough of gorges and waterfalls and bush walks for a while and wanted to do some real life stuff.

The only problem is that five weeks away from my real life, I'm having trouble remembering what it is.

When I look in the mirror in the caravan park toilet, the person looking back at me doesn't look so much like real life, Daylesford me. This Kate has wavy, straggly hair in pig tails, she wears sun dresses and sometimes shorts!!, she is covered in mozzie bites. I think she looks relaxed and I know she looks grubby. In my real life would I pull a band-aid off my foot and leave the grey sticky remnants until next shower? Do I really wash my hair every few days?? Have I ever worn shorts since I was about 20?

Miss Pepper was really sick for a few days. She moaned and groaned and clutched at her tummy all day and all night for about three days. In my real life would I take her to the doctor or would I be satisfied with advice from neighbours and phone calls from relatives? It's hard to remember in the middle of the night in a caravan park full of sleeping neighbours when you are awake trying to calm and reassure your whimpering child.

The other day I was crocheting a few granny squares while supervising my girlies swimming in the pool when the caravan park gardener walked past. He made some remark like That looks like fun, I guess some one's got to do it! I found myself wanting to chase after him and set him straight. Tell him that in my real life I live on a farm, that I also work with the land, make things green, get my hands dirty. I wanted to tell him that in my real life I don't spend hours sitting by the pool. But I didn't. At times real life seems a million miles away.

Yesterday, desperately hungry after a few hours swimming, we stopped at a local shopping centre for lunch. I was wearing my bathers and a pair of shorts. My bathers were still damp from the pool. In public!! This is not something I can ever imagine doing in my real, at home, life.

And then a few days ago I found myself in a conversation about the price of food with a fellow caravanner. We were talking about milk and how expensive he had found it here in the NT. I found myself nodding along. We are so very aware of the price of food now we are buying so much of it on the road, rather than growing it ourselves. Later, when I was walking back to the caravan, I remembered my real life theories about the true cost of food. About how I believe you get what you pay for and how important it is to me to support the family producing the food we eat by paying a fair price.

In my real life I define myself by my roles as a Mother and a wife which are constant now too. But at home I also feel most true to myself when I am baking and sewing and knitting and creating and growing and preserving, none of which I am really doing here on the road. I have been crocheting a bit here and there but nothing like my output at home. Somehow by having more time I have less time to myself. I have no idea how that one works.

Now that I've written all this out I am not entirely sure what this ramble is all about. What ties it all together. I guess I'm just trying to reconcile the Daylesford Kate with the Kate on the road. Trying to remain true to one while giving the other room to discover and explore herself.

I hope that doesn't sound too cuckoo for you this sunny Sunday morning.

Have fun out there. x

28 comments:

  1. Not cuckoo at all! Sounds very insightful to me.
    I would find it really hard with a sick child on holidays, so much harder than when at home with creature comforts( like an indoor toilet!)

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  2. That all sounds perfectly reasonable to me. I also wanted to say I love that last photos of your girls.

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  3. SOunds like a fully-rounded whole-person sort of Kate to me. And a lovely one, at that.

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  4. Sounds like a wonderful time of growth Kate. I hope if you are wearing shorts, you've remembered to shave your legs!!! safe travels to you all. Jane x

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  5. Sounds perfectly normal to me, just an expansion of self. It is funny how differently we dress whilst on holidays. The comment from that man just shows how many people say something before they think, which we are all guilty of at times. No body knows the story behind the actions.
    x Sandi

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  6. I am so envious. I want to find the caravanning me and leave city girl here for awhile.

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  7. Both Kates = you and you are wonderful both ways and you would be a great friend to have xxx

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  8. Not at all cuckoo! It is very interesting actually - the different facets to our personalities. At times some parts are subdued, just waiting for the right time to come out again. Hot weather can make us less inhibited too :) Looking forward to the next installment xo

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  9. Not at all cuckoo - very truthful and all the things that we would think about if away from home. Yay to giving way to the camping Kate. I suspect when you return you will look back at her and wish you were back where she was:)

    Enjoy the swims and shopping in your swimmers (you will not be the first nor the last) that is what I love about the NT - anything goes.

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  10. Firstly might I say that your family holiday photo album is going to be a spectacular collection of memories. Your photos are fabulous.

    You are a Kate of many colours. Oh, such a terrible pun but I couldn't resist.

    Even after a short holiday, getting home and trying to edge back into familiar routines makes me feel displaced for a few days. Our roles outside the family routine at home are so different, aren't they?

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  11. Love your blogs and the ideas you share. The comparison between the real life and the on the road life and the changes you see in yourself/behaviour is interesting. I think you are just being human. Adapting to the now.
    Hope you have fun in Darwin. I have a sister there that I have not seen forever and would love to go and see her.
    Liz

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  12. You are the real Kate - just more versatile than you realised.
    The sick child thing is really awkward in the camping situation and scarey too. I remember measles, raging fever and trying to find a doctor in the middle of the night. All part of the memories. Good luck for the rest of the trip.

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  13. Sounds like you've found another side to Kate! Maybe you'll find a few others along the way too. You all look very happy so being together..being really aware of being in each others company as opposed to just living together..is working for all of you!

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  14. Ha ha! I've just had a similar ramble, but not about old life/travelling life, but quilt guilds. Anyway, love this post, it's so true. It's the mark of a good holiday when you can forget what you did in your old life. Relax and let it take you.

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  15. No no no, not cuckoo at all! I often experience moments where I compare the different "me"s. I LOVE reading about your trip and all that you're learning from it too!

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  16. Maybe this holiday Kate is not being so hard on herself. Deservedly so. Xxx

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  17. Oh dear I must be cuckoo too because I understood exactly what you meant . I hope the little one is all better now.

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  18. Not terribly cuckoo!! Just the right amount!
    xx

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  19. A good holiday is all about changing and growing and reflecting on before. You are doing all three, very well I think. Enjoy every single day you go to the shops in wet togs, back on the farm they will be fond memories.

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  20. Sounds completely sane to me Kate. I feel I would have the same debates with myself, if I were on the road 24/7. It's all about finding yourself again and that is a remarkably tricky thing to do at the best of times... let alone when you're sharing your time so closely with so many others.
    Loving your pictures, just gorgeous :o) xo

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  21. it seems to me that maybe on the road kate is starting to slow down and spend some time thinking about herself and that can only ever be a good thing. nothing at all cuckoo about it

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  22. I like the Kate on the road as much as the Dalesford Kate. They seem spookily the same person... ooooooh! x

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  23. I think it's wonderful - what a real holiday is all about: being out of your comfort zone and into an arena of just 'being'. You have this time of reflection and examination that most people are far too consumed with their daily lives to have the opportunity to do. How fabulous to reflect on these things. I hope you're not feeling somehow 'less' for not being physically occupied with running the farm at the moment - this is good for the soul I think :) I love these posts, Kate. You're helping me take a moment to reflect as well. Hope Pepper's feeling better. Kx

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  24. No not cuckoo at all, all makes perfect sense to me.But you know as different as being the holiday Kate and farm Kate feel, they are both part of the wonderful Kate that makes you. i guess i think we are made up of lots of different bit and pieces, and odddities and strengths, and different situations bring out the different parts of us, and different people too. Am I making any sense. Probably not.
    and what Cath said too. xoxo

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  25. I suspect that at home, the girlies have their own milieu, and you don't need to direct and entertain constantly. And I am betting that when you all get back to Daylesford, there will need to be a period of remembering how 'real life' goes!

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  26. I loved this post so much! It sure sounds as if you are relaxed which can only be a good thing. I hope your wee one is feeling better now. I'm loving reading about your adventures! Have a fab week.

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  27. Nah... doesn't sound cuckoo at all. Just remember this IS your real life - ain't it grand?

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  28. Sounds thoughtful and considered to me. Exactly the kind of thing I'd be doing if I was road tripping - lots of pondering and reflecting. Really nice.

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Thanks so much for stopping by...

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Kate XX

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