Monday, September 19, 2011

The itch.

I'm feeling itchy. Physically (sand fly bites) and emotionally. I'm not entirely certain that it is possible to feel emotionally itchy but this afternoon I do.

Little bits of home are creeping in and I'm not sure how to deal with them. Bush fires nearby to our farm, a springtime glut of eggs to find customers for, the thought of my sewing machine and some pretty fabrics and laces and the perfect easy breezy sundress they could become.

Little bits of so many conversations that end up talking about how we'll do things differently when we go home.

The fact that we cannot seem to leave Broome. We'll have been here a month this Thursday. Until yesterday I thought it was because it is so perfect here, the beaches, the friends, the relaxed lifestyle... Yesterday it was suggested to me that maybe we are struggling with the fact that until now we have been heading North and West. Broome and the far north west coast were always the destination we were most looking forward to. So when we start to head south from here it kinda means we are on our way home. Even though we have months of travel left, we are heading south and that is a little sad.

I haven't got enough yarn with me to get stuck into a long term project and there is no wool shop for miles around. I am crocheting little flowers for all the girls' friends to wear in their hair, but they are not doing the trick. I need to knit long rows and tune out and let my fingers do the work.

Miss Pepper woke me up three times in the night crying hysterically about nothing at all and needing to be cuddled back to sleep.

I have no space. There is always someone talking to me, wanting something from me, hassling me. Yep, I know you are thinking 'der, what did you expect in a caravan??' But most of the time it's ok. Most of the time I love this constant family time. But today it's irritating the crap out of me. The sound of Miss Pepper watching Annie on the ipad, the sound of a million Muuuuuuuuuums!!!! The thought of the pile of wet towels and the sandy clothes and the ants in the honey...

I know I probably shouldn't publish this. 99 per cent of my days are wonderful and this crap afternoon should be endured and forgotten but without my knitting and my sewing machine, blogging is the next best coping mechanism I know. I write it all out, I publish it, it helps me process it and get rid of it.

So feel free to ignore this post if you like. Or read it and take from it that life on the road is mostly wonderful but occasionally irritating. You choose.

As for me, I'm going to pour myself a glass of vodka and old fashioned lemonade, chuck in a few ice cubes and go and sit outside and knead the pizza dough. Until someone needs me. Doesn't sound all that bad really does it? What on earth am I complaining about then??

Bye!

53 comments:

  1. Oh no, I don't think there are any yarn shops 1000s of kms. I always need a big project, especially when everything is kind of topsy turvy, it is the one thing you can go to and know what you have to do.
    It is always better to write or talk about things that are irritating you, better than bottling it up, I hopw tomorrow is less irritating.

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  2. So, what I am hearing you say is you are loving it so much the idea if turning south makes you feel hesitant but that today you are needing space. I think it would be more weird if you didn't feel like you needed space. It's intense and constant but so good you don't want to go home. Wish I could teletransport some wool to you. By the way I think you will be REALLY going home when you go East after you have gone south don't you think? South is the middle bit. Xx

    Word verification was vulvas, it's the small things that amuse me!

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  3. You're doing so much looking after and looking forwards and looking inwards ... maybe you need to look for a little time for yourself? I'm sure that Farmer Boy of yours can hold the fort while you recharge. And there must be a day spa somewhere in Broome ...

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  4. I've just rediscovered the therapeutic benefit of having one or two easy projects on the go. Could you muster enough scraps for a stripy blanket?

    Funny today I was thinking that when you're in a tent, a caravan looks like luxury. But in a tent you tend to spread out heaps so it isn't really the case. When I go travelling with my family I need at least one twenty minute walk all by myself or I go spare. But then again what is a road trip without some family stuff?

    I have so enjoyed reading all about your trip - we get your eggs in our food co-op box and it's a funny little connection.

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  5. I get it Kate.
    Plan away and write some lists. That's what I'd do!
    I like to read about the ups and downs, good to get it out...
    Even though it seems like heading home, south, there is so much more to explore out there.
    Just head on down and see where the breeze takes you. xx

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  6. You're so honest & real, these moments are exactly what you'd have at home anyway (not including the wool crisis) it's just with different scenery & greater expectation sometimes as you're on holidays. Enjoy it all, soak it up & bring the holiday experience home with you.
    Funnily enough i posted about stitching today too, itch'n in fact, my 4 children were fed early in the hope they'll disappear into their rooms earlier as i need to stitch too. See, same issues, different place, love Posie

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  7. We need eggs!
    I love the realness of this holiday excerpt and that you feel the need to craft strongly cos thats what had been missing around here and it is a very powerful tug when it happens!
    x

    ps Ill be needing some sort of address soon

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  8. It's only natural to feel frustrated and restless, I know things lots of things would drive me insane being away from home in confined quarters. We only manage for a few days at a time, not months like you are doing. I love hearing how normal it all is though. I'm sure tomorrow will be a better day x

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  9. oh k i understand, i do. perhaps its the heat getting to ya, its starting to get hot here. ebay is my friend for wool, and fabric, and anything else crafty. its been two YEARS since i set foot in a craft store :( boo hoo. if i'd known then what i know now,,, i would have bought tassie out !!! :) take care. x

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  10. We have to have those bad days Kate, otherwise we wouldnt know how great and fantastic the good ones are! Maybe your feeling a little itchy because your thinking your on way home and am not ready to face all those tasks again yet.

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  11. Your honesty is always appreciated Kate. Breathe deep, drink that drink & tomorrow will be a new day.
    I think I'd go mad without some form of craft too. I'm currently staying with my mum in an aboriginal community near cairns. I'm drawing trucks to keep my sanity.
    I will need some sort of address too please. x

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  12. I think you just need to go on a bike ride of your very own, perhaps with some music you like and 30 minutes of no chat. And the fact that it has taken you this long to do this post I think is quite miraculous. Chalk it up to a night of rubbish sleep and enjoy tomorrow. melx

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  13. Head south and visit the Jo Sharp Yarn store in Perth!!!

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  14. You're not alone, we all have those days. Time alone is not to be underestimated. Vodka's good too, but not as rejuvenating. I go quite mad without it, even on holidays and the family's happily accepting of that. We all have our quirks.

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  15. I remember feeling like that when we were about a third of the way through our trip to the Gold Coast a couple of years ago. We had been to each of the major theme parks once and we had repeat visits and other things to see but I started feeling incredibly apprehensive, I just didn't want it to end. I didn't want our old lives back. I wanted to keep the close family thing going even if the constantness of the "Muuuummm" was sometimes driving me crazy. I imagine on a longer holiday it would be a similar thing. You reach a point where home seems to loom (even if it isn't in the not too close future).
    Chin up,,,,tomorrow is another day and Broome looks and sounds wonderful!!!

    Cheers
    Colleen

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  16. Good , your human!
    I get the hesitation to move on the whole south psychology. but what's the rush. You love broome and there are still months left to explore south. ANd I agree with Cath you aint really heading home until you've done a left turn and gone east. xo

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  17. Im sooo loving the beautiful pics your taking of beautiful broome. Have you tried the church op shops to find a hand knit you can reuse the wool. You might get lucky! It might be enough to scratch the itch. there used to be a sewing group which meet up at the broome circle once a week. they were very welcoming and they would probably let you pet their machines to make you feel better. as for the physical itches, get some of that midgie magic and keep rubbing it on.

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  18. Thank goodness you can tell me how it really is. As we begin our planning of a trip in a couple of years I keep thinking, I might need more space. I might need to get away.

    That's ok though, because those beaches and the family time will all win in the end.

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  19. Is it weird that I loved this post? Sorry if it is, but I did. I enjoyed it. Not because of you having a crap afternoon, but because of how you dealt with it, are dealing with it, & how you wrote this post. WHY you wrote this post.

    Just. Loved it.

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  20. Yay for posts about real life and the itchy, crappy things that happen. I have written heaps of these posts and never had the nerve to publish them - they are very theraputic. Thanks for making me feel like I'm not the only one who has those days. Hope yours is getting better. Me ... I'm recovering from dealing with Spanish tradies and it's too early for a vodka!!

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  21. It's the real life post that keep me reading a blog Kate! Love it and love your truth! xx Rach

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  22. Keep blogging real...I know that I love reading about all the bits of your travels...this will pass and probably return but it makes the good seem really good I am sure. xxxx

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  23. I like that you write the bad with the good. Too many more idyllic sunset shots might make us all a bit too jealous LOL. And if it makes you feel better, I occasionally have itchy days in the comfort of my own home even!

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  24. Keeping it real, Kate. Good for you. I appreciate your honesty. You have such integrity, my friend. Hoping you feel more chipper tomorrow. J x

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  25. Ah, I know what it is like to not have your sewing machine and get the urge to create! So frustrating! Hang in there, as you so obviously are :)

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  26. Shit - i was going to put some wool in with your parcel, but didn't want to weigh you down with more. I'll go with the gut instinct next time! I bet that pizza dough was the best.XXJ

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  27. Worst case you could undo your wheel cover and start again...

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  28. I'm thinking that whether you're home or away, no matter what the circumstances, sewing & knitting are escape time, particularly when you can't physically escape. So I understand your angst, as I reckon we all do. Hey, I'm sitting here staying up too late sewing some house slippers that I'm sure I don't need, but I sure do need the escape it brings me! Here's hoping you find some wool... and I love the earlier suggestion to go have a massage x

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  29. Hope you could sit back for 5 mins to relax with that lemonade & vodka. It's OK, I think most of us moms get that feeling some thimes...even in our own homes. Sometimes you just need space. Enjoy the travel.

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  30. Oh I think life in general, no matter how wonderful, is sometimes irritating. I always need some space and I'm sure most of us will understand and relate to this post in many ways.
    xxx

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  31. I'm following your trip and loving every moment of it.
    And I have to say, I love your honesty and balance.
    I'm sorry you haven't got any yarn - if I could send you some I would. I love that rhythmic knitting - that mindless knitting that keeps your fingers busy but lets your mind wander....
    l
    x

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  32. You're only human, everyone has days like this no matter how good life is. It is ok!
    I will read your blog no matter what, so vent my lady, vent!
    Have a glorious day today
    Rach x

    (I am writing this as I am sitting in a hotel room in China, a country that I love. But I've been sharing a hotel room with my parents for 3 nights and it's wearing a little thin. My Mum won't stop talking even though she can see I'm deeply engrossed in my blogs here. So you see, good and bad stuff!)

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  33. Hi Kate

    Know how you fee,this too will pass. Would you like me to post you some wool? No problem I am happy to do it. Also if you are missing your sewing perhaps you would cover some hexagon flowers they always make me feel better. I could post papers and fabric too if you like. Vicki xx

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  34. Ahhh ... personal space - how I crave it! We've all got colds here so there is a lot of neediness going on. Like you I know it will pass, but to just have a shower on my own!... without a child with me and another droaning "Maaammmma". I hear you. I know it will pass for both of us. I know too that for me they'll go out this afternoon with their Dad to the shops and probably after half an hour I'll be missing them and wondering when they'll be back! Weird.

    re: wool supplies. Did you want me to order some for you from BWM that you can pick up on your way through Perth? Something to keep you going over the Nullarbor? Let me know.

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  35. Am I allowed to say mailorder yarn to be at your next destinations Post Office Kate?
    Hope you find some yarn, a remote spot on the beach and gain your equilibrium again.
    And some more calomine lotion for them bites !

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  36. Maybe it is really time to move on..find a new beach..come to terms with moving further south? There are plenty more adventures to be had before arriving home. Facing the demons is better than sitting there dwelling on them..oh, that is such good advice for myself! Happy Days to all of you.

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  37. I know that feeling all too well, Kate.
    But you know, as much as I love Broome and the surrounding area (Have you driven out to Beagle Bay?) there's sooo much on the west coast that I just loved!!!
    Ningaloo Reef Marine Park is awesome, and the cliffs at Karratha are so spectacular... and the beautiful trees once you're south of Perth. It's a beautiful state, and you're making me miss it!!

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  38. Oh Kate, I was laughing and nodding while reading this. Hope the itchiness is on it's way out the door and that the pizza and vodka were good medicine. :)

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  39. Complain all you like Kate. You are brave and inspirational and living the dream. Not all aspects of anything we undertake or chose to do are ever absolutely wonderful. A wise person told me Don't wait For Perfect. So go you. I admire you for the courage to leave behind the known, the comfortable and the safe for the adventure of a life time. (For what that's worth anyway!!!)

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  40. I really enjoy your honesty! So refreshing. Loving reading about your adventures, hope you are going to write a little book afterwards??

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  41. "I don’t know how she did it, but Rachel got poison ivy on her brain. The only way she could scratch it was if she thought about sandpaper" - Steven Wright. xx

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  42. Hope you are feeling better by now, lovie. It doesn't matter where we are in life, everything is relative and things are going to shit you, whether big or small. Hopefully blogging about it will make you feel a little bit better.

    So are you going to start making hexipuffs? They'd be a great travel project...

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  43. Yikes I get lost in life round here and come back to discover you thought you were having a crack up but you're just being the noraml, gorgeous, wonderful girl you've been all alnong.
    Sounds all normal to me Luv, considering your circumstances! Don't dare be too hard on yourself and don't ever forget how sensaish you are ♥♥♥♥♥
    ps. check out my puppy love post, it'll put a smile on your gorgeous face ♥♥♥♥♥

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  44. As I was reading this & totally relating to Pepper's waking in the night & crying for what seems is nothing, all those 'Muuuuums' day in & out, I was thinking you should pour yourself a nice cool drink...I hope it helped x

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  45. I'm working backwards today - have a bit of all round catching up to do.

    I do hope the drink helped. All sounds perfectly normal to me. With regards to yarns, you could probably check with Bendigo Woollen Mills if they would deliver an on line order to the Post Restante at your next stop, or even in Broome if you are planning a staying a little while longer. I feel your dread of heading south, but know you will enjoy every day. So much more to see.

    Is that Bendigo wool on your table? Lovely shades, do you know what they are.

    Hoping you are feeling better.
    Carmel
    x

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  46. Sometimes we don't really know what the feeling is, it is just a feeling and to vent helps so much. Vent away Kate.
    x Sandi

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  47. thank god for vodka, (and blogs)
    cheers big ears

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  48. Hi there
    I read your blog here in Amsterdam, the Netherlands.
    Travel with you... ;-)
    If one day you don't know why? you feel so...
    look at your biorythm.

    http://www.bio-chart.com/

    You will understand everything.

    Good trip and happiness,
    Carool

    http://colourfulcarool.blogspot.com

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  49. Kate, your blog is about life, not necessarily the sanitised version of life. Your experience does help normalise the rest of us needed space, craft, whatever! I had a crap day yesterday and in the middle of it couldn't imagine feeling any other way, today is going better. Although we are doing 'craft' and my two smaller people are needing an awful of help and affirmation in the process!

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  50. I'm always so behind on my favourite blogs these days. Trouble is, I like to savour every post and take it all in... if I rush reading them, I just don't enjoy them as much.
    As per usual, a wonderfully written post Kate. Everything you say here I can understand. You want to hang on to this beautiful adventure as long as you can. It nakes perfect sense. Hope your week has improved since this post... I guess I'll go and read about it now ;o) xo

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  51. i LOVE that you hit publish.
    i LOVE that it was quickly followed by a Voddy.
    i LOVE your honesty.
    sometimes...even in what others perceive is perfection is honest-to-goodness hard yards.
    and it's good to say so.
    it helps others.
    but most of all it helps you.
    dishonesty sucks.
    xxx

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Thanks so much for stopping by...

I do read every single comment you leave and appreciate it very much, but I should let you know that I can be a wee bit on the useless side when replying to comments, that's just me, everyday life sometimes gets in the way....so I'll apologise now, just in case.

Kate XX

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