We have no time frames, farm chores, appointments or obligations. Most of the time we are happy in our own company, traveling from place to place, making it up as we go along.
We don't do sunrise tours because we don't like to get up early, we like art, we like playgrounds and swimming pools and markets and animals and we like taking it slow.
But then yesterday something changed. We had one bad day. Not so serious in the scheme of things but it felt pretty intense at the time.
You know how in life sometimes you find yourself in places that don't feel comfortable. You aren't always sure why but it just feels uneasy. I felt like that as soon as we arrived here at Alice Springs.
Things started being crappy when I whacked my head on the car mirror in the wee hours of the morning (pun intended) and I saw stars.
Then my computer internet went all strange. I know I need to be more aware of how much time I spend online, but I do not want my computer to decide that fact for me thank you very much.
With no way to download emails or read blogs, I felt out of touch and upset.
Then we visited gorgeous friends of ours doing the same driving trip of Australia as us, who last week rolled their car in the middle of nowhere and ended up in hospital. Every thought and feeling and story they shared with us, I could feel. I am sick for them. What an unfair and totally awful end to their trip.
And the Aboriginal situation here. I'm not sure I am ready to put into words how sad it has made me feel. How difficult it has been to explain it to and debrief my sensitive daughters. I feel sick and sad and responsible.
As a family we will do something proactive.
Then there is the camping thing. Most of the time it has been brilliant but yesterday I felt like I was just over escorting the girls to the toilet, over there always being someone hungry, over there being sand in my bed, over the niggly fights, over the tiny space.
Yesterday I felt like I had no skin, like everything hurt me, upset me. I was raw and oversensitive. Yesterday what I really needed was to go into my sewing room and sew. I needed me time.
I couldn't have me time so I kinda tuned out. I played with my phone and on The Twitter and snapped more than once.
When Bren asked me to get off my computer late afternoon so we could discuss where to go from here I harrumphed. We ended up having the first fight we've had in about four years. Then I cried that I wanted to go home.
Then he cried. The girls cried. And I started looking at the map to see if we could get a train to take our car and caravan home. I was certain it was the only way.
But this morning we all woke up happy. Like the air had been cleared and we understood what we wanted, what this trip is all about.
We've had a wonderful day.
I am certain that there will be other places that challenge me, that I wont always be able to resist the call of The Twitter in the middle of family time, that we will hear awful news that will make me cry and cry and cry, that my need for personal space will overwhelm my need for everything else and that other bad stuff will happen.
BUT I do know what I want and I want this!
All photos are from instagram on the iPhone app.
Let the adventures continue....