Thursday, August 20, 2015

Five go away together

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I hate the thought of people reading what I am about to write in their homes and thinking it sounds silly. People who dream of travelling in Europe, who long for beautiful views and gorgeous climates and new experiences. But my reality is my story and I feel the need to write the words that go with how I’m feeling now. If you choose to read along I hope you understand that I’m not ungrateful, just a bit tired and emotional.

We’ve been on the road for two months now and somewhere along the way I’ve forgotten the meaning behind this trip.


We’re sitting here, all five of us, at a long wooden dining table in an old stone house in Tuscany. Bren is sewing up Big Ted’s newest holes, the girls are writing articles advertising Florence to the world and I’m wondering what I need to do to get that creative buzz that will lift me out of this flat place I’ve fallen into.


I’m also trying not to tap too loudly so I won’t disturb the girls, and I’m trying to block out the music and chatting from next door. I’m trying to forget for a moment that my mum just texted me and told me she had a difficult day with her dad. I’m trying to ignore the fly that is buzzing around my head, and I’m trying to stop myself from putting a stop to this whole session and suggesting a visit to the pool instead.

So what are we doing here anyway?


Are we showing the girls the big wide world? Are we spending time exploring as a family while the girls still can and want to? Are we collecting inspiration for our own home? Are we getting as far away from our home as possible so we can see it with fresh eyes? Are we just simply tasting, smelling and walking our way around bits of Europe? Are we setting our girls up to be so far behind in school that they lose confidence? Or are we taking our girls out of the system and allowing them to be part of the School of the World? Are we spending money that would otherwise be used to fix up our house? Are we filling the girls up with different cultures and memories? Are we making the most of an opportunity? Are we making choices and taking risks? Are we just simply just escaping another dreary, dark Daylesford winter?


Travelling with three children is intense and wonderful and exhausting.

Watching our children’s little faces as they turn the corner of a street and are confronted with the most incredible church is priceless. Listening to their little voices pointing things out to each other, and thinking about the way that they seem to gobble up the history and culture is extraordinary.


But then having to deal with the meltdown at the other end is exhausting. Having to make decisions that will please everyone is not always possible. And making a plan that will keep those three children of three very different age groups engaged and involved is a challenge.


Which brings us to our week in Tuscany. Our first week out of a city in what feels like weeks.


Our plan for this week is to slow down, to discover the countryside, to catch up on some reading and writing, to make a plan for our last few weeks on the road, to stay a bit still and to work out how we are all feeling, what we all need and how we can arrange that.

But it seems that a terrible night of no sleep, on a mattress that has already been replaced, combined with our first morning off in I don’t know how long, has filled me with more questions that solutions.

At least the girls have some great pieces of Florence writing in their journals and Big Ted is all stitched up.

Ugh! Enough! Pool time.


xxxxxx



PS. Yesterday I saw a snake.
PPS. I’m pre-menstrual as you may have guessed.
PPS. Blogger and flickr are giving me such a hard time with the spacing on this post and the hosting of my photos that I've decided just to give in and let them win this time. Ugh!




46 comments:

  1. hello my lovely friend. (pretend I am standing in front of you, maybe we are sitting so we are closer in height) I always forget, and then quickly remember the intensity of holidays- the all being together all of the time stuff and then I remember and think oh yeah, that's what it is. You know if you were home there would still be meltdowns at the end of the day, there would still be feelings of trying to make decisions that please everyone, you would feel pulled in multiple directions, you would still be worried about school and what to do to the house and all that stuff - but it will all be there when you get home. It will all be the greatest experience ever, all this stuff that seems so full on right now, on reflection will be part of the story, just like it was in the caravan. xxxx

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    1. that is the most perfect comment ever!! i can't thank you enough. it's exactly what i needed to hear and exactly what i know to be true when i stop and think about it properly. you are awesome. i wish i could hug you right now for real. xxxxxxxxxxxx

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  2. Love it...adventure Kate any luggage tips/bag ideas? Your coloured bags look good x travelling with 2 kids 9 and 11 x Thanks Rebecca

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    1. Yes, we bought these bags - http://www.blackwolf.com.au/product/Bladerunner/73/category/34/page/1/noItems/12
      and we love them. The perfect size, weight and with just the right amount of zips and pockets. We've walked far with them and the girls haven't had any problems managing them at all.

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    2. Thanks will check them out x x x x

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    3. What size Kate? Sorry x x Thanks Rebecca x

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    4. 40+10. Sorry for the delay, we've had such issues with internet. Hope that helps. x

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    5. Thanks x x x
      Your holiday looks amazing x x x

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  3. Hello Kate, I am not sure I can write anything wiser than Cath has already written. We have just been on a very short, beach adventure ourselves. Nothing like what you are doing...hell, I don't even have a passport. We had gorgeous accommodation, a manageable amount of nice food and plenty of time wandering and relaxing. But, the kids still argued and I still had to take care of basic domestic duties and logistics. Clothes, food etc. Do you know what I missed the most? Fresh herbs on my food, my coffee machine, proper kitchen knives and the warmth and softness of our dog’s ears. There truly is no place like home. At the risk of over sharing I am premenstrual too. Oh and don’t worry about Blogger and Flickr, just keep posting x

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    1. Thank you so much Jane. I miss all of those things too.
      But it is great to have a break from the same old, same old, even if it's just to have a new view from your washing line, and it makes me happy that yogis took a break to the beach. Each one of your posts made me smile. I hope being home is wonderful. x

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  4. Such beautiful photos, as always... I reckon the magical meaning and learnings behind holidays choose to reveal themselves way after you've arrived back home and settled back into your 'norm' or 'new norm' ( I often come back with the best of intentions to eat/sleep/exercise in a new norm which will usually morphs right back into the old norm, but with the odd flourish if I'm lucky!)... Whilst you're in it, you cannot possibly really truly see it... because you are in it... make sense? You have to come away from it (back home) to be able to really see it in all it's colourful beautiful glory... sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees too, looking too hard with a specific focus... but then letting go of what it means, well that opens the door for lots of new thoughts and understandings to pop in... World School is extremely valuable and really can't be underestimated... Hope your creative mojo returns after a swim and sleep ... and the fly buzzes off... What an incredible adventure to have under your wings with your family to look back on over the future dark cold winters...it's icy and chilly and frosty in melbs tonight.

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    1. The thought of the cold winter back home never fails to jolt me back to reality and in a flash I'm thrilled to be here all over again. Thanks for your awesome words. I think I'm going to refer back to the comments on this post for the next few weeks until we get back home. xx

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  5. i think you are giving your girls and yourselves wonderful experiences. But travelling is tiring. You are allowed to feel conflicting emotions about it. In the years to come you will ALL have taken wonderful things from it. Now, you are allowed to want to be at home NOW. I am older than you - my children are young adults - I do not travel with them now. I love travelling but after a week I am exhausted. You are a wonderful family. And wonderful families should not be 'perfect' otherwise they would not be wonderful.

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment Judy. I just said to Bren before that I feel like I need a holiday from the holiday. It is exhausting at times but I can already see how much they are growing from it. xx

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  6. oh it can be exhausting and that last part of the trip where you are starting to think of home can be the hardest. The memories you are giving your family together are priceless.

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    1. it's so true! i remember on our caravan trip, as soon as we started talking about going home things changed. and here too, we've just started making plans for things to do on our farm and throwing around ideas of how we can change. x

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  7. Of course, this is exhausting, which means you are most likely doing everything right. You will never be able to put a price to this education....and the memories...you are creating for a lifetime. What a treasure. (and the kids are still hugging each other!!! good sign!!!)

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    1. Thank you so much Steph, that means a lot! x

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  8. I think you are momentarily getting bogged down in the minutiae of daily life, it'll happen at times no matter where you are. Soon you'll perk up again & you'll be able to see the bigger picture. I think life s just a series of cycles & we all go through them, you're a thinker so you'll analyse more. It's not a bad thing or a good thing, it's just s thing (that's what I tell myself anyhow) so don't beat yourself up. There's no perfect way of living life!

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    1. Yep, it's all true. A few days later and I feel completely differently about it all but I'm so happy I wrote this blog even if was just to get it out and then be able to read he amazing comments. Thank you!! xx

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  9. Wonderful photos; thanks for sharing. I agree with my fellow commenters: it is hard to see it while you are amidst it all but I promise you, this is something none of you will ever forget and you may have made world travelers out of the girlies. It took only one trip to Europe in high school with the band for my sister to be hooked on international travel. She subsequently made her home in Moscow.

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    1. Thank you so much Lynda, the last time I was in Europe it was with a bunch of friends just after we had finished school. I wonder if my girls will do the same sort of trip and if their memories from this time will travel along with them if they do. x

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  10. You have every right to your emotions. Travel while fun, exciting, inspiring, educational, can also be exhausting, frustrating, and at times depressing. You feel what you feel. Sometimes you need to find some time to take some time to recharge your own batteries so you can enjoy the moments you want to remember later.

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    1. Thank you Bailey. Finding that down time on a trip like this is hard to find at times but I promise I am trying. WE've been trying to spend a bit of time most days writing in journals and painting in our sketchbooks which certainly helps. xx

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  11. Ditto to everyone here. The people who might call you ungrateful or whiney for not having stars in your eyes the whole time are the same ones who expect a made up face a week after childbirth, who think because you're lucky enough to have kids (or chose to have them) you can never have a bad day, and who generally think the only person who has a right to complain is them and anyone else is stealing their attention. Not worth paying attention to.

    We learned the reality that the dynamics of our family followed us on vacation--not for good or for ill, but just complex and without any of the safety nets of home. I dis covered that I still needed time alone even on vacation, that the kids still needed an occasional morning of cartoons and cereal instead of culture and adventure, and that my husband still needed to get away from us too, and while the learning was hard, it was also invaluable. I'm praying for you, and hope you have some time to recharge once you get home, too.

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    1. I love this Kate, thank you!!
      So far I haven't had any negative feedback thank goodness.
      I haven't had much alone time either but then I know I should just get up a bit earlier and go for a run like I was doing at the start of this trip. Yes, I think I will start again tomorrow. Thank you. xx

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  12. Oh Kate, big hugs to you my lovely friend. It's time to do what you are doing.......rest up little one. Us girls need to take a step back at this time of the month. We need to rest and partake in a little bit of self care. If you nurture yourself now, you'll feel better soon and you'll be ready to enjoy the last weeks of your holiday. Don't feel guilty for feeling this way and writing these words, it is perfectly ok to feel this way, especially at the moment. Love you, take care xxoo

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    1. Thank you so much Julie. You know today we stayed home all day except for a trip to a nearby town for lunch. I finished my book, I started the fun part of the socks I am knitting and I rested. I know that I needed it and I stopped myself from feeling guilty about wasting time here because I know that tomorrow I'll be back to normal. xxx

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  13. Big hugs to you Kate. This too shall pass and be tucked away in your bank of memories to bring out on another day when your experiences of this time will give you strength and insight. The Tuscany countryside is surely one of the most beautiful places in Italy and after the hustle, bustle and in your face gloriousness of Florence with it's history and crowds of people, I well understand that having the time to sit will bring out a myriad of emotions. Take care of you.
    Anne xxxx

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    1. Thank you Anne. Now I feel like I completely understand what the fuss about Tuscany is all about. It is so beautiful. And such a perfect time to stop and recharge after all that hustle and bustle. I feel better already. xx

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  14. Everyone has said such wonderful wise words that I will just send you a virtual hug and say that it is all normal!!!! Jan x

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  15. Ps it's actually really refreshing to hear somebody have a bit of a moan on their blog, rather than all this "edited highlights" malarkey!!!!! Just sayin'........

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    1. Ooops, I accidentally deleted your comment - here it is again -

      No, ur not ungrateful! There must be a lot of really tricky things to deal with, travelling with three children. But you are creating a memory bank for your lovely girls, which they will likely draw from forvtyecrest of their lives :) how wonderful. Hope your pmt (and the clouds) have passed........ Keep writing!

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    2. and thank you so much Sonya for your gorgeous comment, I think its' important to keep it real too. xx

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  16. As my fictional children would no doubt tell me, just chillax mum!

    Re the Flickr hosting branding crap up there, I worked out a way around it. Check my blog in the next day or so for easy easy tips.

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  17. Everyone is allowed to have the shits sometime Kate. Even if you are sitting at a rustic wooden table in a Tuscan farmhouse. Gorgeous photos. As ever xx

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  18. Oh Kate! I have been there and I feel your pain, but two years after our Paris adventure (with 3 small children) I don't remember the whining children, or the cough/cold bug we all had, or how desperately I wished that I could have just one night in my own bed. I remember all the good bits and that holiday has such a wonderful glow over it. You will feel the same. Life is not about perfection. Sometimes it is all about the journey.

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  19. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your honesty Kate. And for all the comments here. You are doing all things on your list at once, the good and the messy. The fact that your kids are hugging and looking at stuff is a testament to the great job you are doing. And as other commenters have said, the rest is all the stuff that would happen any way - being on the trip of a lifetime doesn't cancel out life itself, which as we must all acknowledge, is full of good, bad and messy all the time. I loved this post and feel more okay about the holiday meltdowns we have had too! But you know what - you are teaching the amazing lessons of resilience and repair and coping with shit - the best lessons of all.

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  20. You are having an unforgetable time of your life,enjoy

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  21. My parents took us travelling through Europe when I was about nine. We travelled a lot when I was growing up. It was such a gift and has stayed with me and given me the feeling the world is mine for all these years, such a precious thing. xxxxx

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  22. Kate, put yourself into some of the photos ..... Please.

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  23. Oh Kate, I'm hearing you on all of that and I'm still here in Tasmania! You know it's all going to be happy memories and life learning - but in the moment, it feels confusing and hard and all those things. I'm loving following your travels and so wish we could give our girls the same gift. Maybe one day. xx

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  24. Some days are like that............ even in Timbuktu x

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Thanks so much for stopping by...

I do read every single comment you leave and appreciate it very much, but I should let you know that I can be a wee bit on the useless side when replying to comments, that's just me, everyday life sometimes gets in the way....so I'll apologise now, just in case.

Kate XX

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